Why your players won’t talk to you…

…because they don’t feel comfortable doing so. Seems simple, right? Yet team after team that I work with have the same problem that keeps coming up—the coach complains that the players are not participating or not bringing concerns to him/her, yet he/she has never explored how his/her players feel about communicating with him/her.

There is a natural power imbalance between player and coach and to many, the archetype of the coach is still associated with the command and control, throw a chair, Bobby Knight version. In other words, many learn that coaches are to be feared and when we are afraid, the easiest response is to avoid the thing that causes that fear.

Your players don’t talk to you because you assume they feel comfortable in doing so and your assumption is usually wrong.

Instead of asking why your players won’t talk to you, ask instead why SHOULD your players talk to you? What have you don’t to create a psychologically safe community where players are empowered to be their authentic selves? When have you asked players for feedback? When have you allowed one of your players to lead a conversation?

Open and honey meat dialogue doesn’t come from a request, it comes from a feeling. Focus on making your players feel safe and I would bet that you would see a major change in how freely your players communicate with you.